Lead me O God
I do not know this way
It has been proved to me o’er and o’er

For when I have set my faith’
my heart
my face
like flint to seek you
to go on further still
even further than ever before
I’ve been surprised by opposition
strange and unexpected resistance
as though an enemy fears that I should enter in
to such a place of abandonment with thee

Or is it you who tests my commitment
and through such circumstance say to me
“Are you truly committed to my way my son?
will you indeed no longer turn my glory into shame?
will you indeed stand upright in this exalted place ?
or will you allow yourself to be talked down once again?"

I know not O god
Thou knowest
my heart has been so changeable
you alone have proved faithful
But this I have
that I know that I am blind
and that you alone can lead me in this way
Thou who at once dwellest in the midst of the thick darkness
and in the light that is unapproachable
lead me on
For you have said, “Who is blind as my servant?”

Is it that I have been so immersed in my weakness and my blindness
that I have a confidence that this shall be no work of my own
but only of thy grace and mercy
not any of my might or power
nor any of my willing...

but a feeling after thee
who is in
me both to will and to do

What is this strange confidence
where before there has only been failure?

Was my utter failure
again and again....
all this falling...
preparatory to my rising again?

Is it through my profound imperfection
that I now appreciate your perfection?
Is it the knowledge of my own weakness
that now helps me find this strength?

Is it my own profound blindness through which
I now see such glory?

After so great a death whence comes
this overflow of abundant life?

Did vanity and emptiness alone
prepare me for such wealth of spirit?

I only know now that without your sovereign discipline
your loving rebuke
I could never have been freed from much that held me.

What now can I do in this place high above all rule and authority
This place you said you had prepared for me
that you promised to come and bring me to?

Seated together in heavenly places I rest
Work your work
My works shall follow
I will be still praising you

"A number of years ago, I had the privilege of teaching
at a school of ministry. My students were hungry for God,
and I was constantly searching for ways
to challenge them to fall more in love with Jesus and to become
voices for revival in the Church. I came across a quote
attributed most often to Rev. Sam Pascoe.
It is a short version of the history of Christianity,
and it goes like this:"

Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship;
it moved to Greece and became a philosophy;
it moved to Italy and became an institution;
it moved to Europe and became a culture;
it came to America and became an enterprise.

Some of the students were only 18 or 19 years old--
barely out of diapers--and I wanted them to understand
and appreciate the import of the last line,
so I clarified it by adding, "An enterprise. That's a business."

After a few moments Martha, the youngest student in the class,
raised her hand. I could not imagine what her question might be.
I thought the little vignette was self-explanatory,
and that I had performed it brilliantly.

Nevertheless, I acknowledged Martha's raised hand, "Yes, Martha."
She asked such a simple question, "A business?
But isn't it supposed to be a body?"

I could not envision where this line of questioning was going,
and the only response I could think of was, "Yes." She continued,
"But when a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?"
The room went dead silent.
For several seconds no one moved or spoke.
We were stunned,
afraid to make a sound because the presence of God
had flooded into the room, and we knew we were on holy ground.

All I could think in those sacred moments was,
"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that."
I didn't dare express that thought aloud.
God had taken over the class. Martha's question changed my life.

For six months, I thought about her question at least once every day.
"When a body becomes a business, isn't that a prostitute?"
There is only one answer to her question. The answer is "Yes."
The American Church, tragically, is heavily populated by people
who do not love God. How can we love Him?
We don't even know Him; and I mean really know Him. ...
I stand by my statement that most American Christians do not know God--
much less love Him.

The root of this condition originates in how we came to God.
Most of us came to Him because of what we were told He would do for us.
We were promised that He would bless us in life and take us to heaven after death.
We married Him for His money, and we don't care if He lives or dies
as long as we can get His stuff. We have made the Kingdom of God
into a business, merchandising His anointing.

This should not be. We are commanded to love God,
and are called to be the Bride of Christ--
that's pretty intimate stuff. We are supposed to be His lovers.
How can we love someone we don't even know?
And even if we do know someone,
is that a guarantee that we truly love them? Are we lovers or prostitutes?

I was pondering Martha's question again one day, and considered the question,
"What's the difference between a lover and a prostitute?"
I realized that both do many of the same things,
but a lover does what she does because she loves.
A prostitute pretends to love, but only as long as you pay.
Then I asked the question, "What would happen if God stopped paying me?"
For the next several months, I allowed God to search me to uncover my motives
for loving and serving Him. Was I really a true lover of God?

What would happen if He stopped blessing me?
What if He never did another thing for me?
Would I still love Him? Please understand,
I believe in the promises and blessings of God.
The issue here is not whether God blesses His children;
the issue is the condition of my heart.

Why do I serve Him? Are His blessings in my life the gifts of a loving Father,
or are they a wage that I have earned or a bribe/payment to love Him?
Do I love God without any conditions?
It took several months to work through these questions.
Even now I wonder if my desire to love God is always matched
by my attitude and behavior.

I still catch myself being disappointed with God and angry
that He has not met some perceived need in my life.
I suspect this is something which is never fully resolved,
but I want more than anything else to be a true lover of God.
So what is it going to be?

Which are we, lover or prostitute? There are no prostitutes in heaven,
or in the Kingdom of God for that matter,
but there are plenty of former prostitutes in both places.
Take it from a recovering prostitute when I say there is no substitute
or unconditional, intimate relationship with God.
And I mean there is no palatable substitute available to us
(take another look at Matthew 7:21-23 sometime).

We must choose.

Dr. David Ryser

I thought that I must not consider prayer
in relation to that which I do
but rather
that which I am

Not as something that I must find time for
and then perform

but that which is now become so pervasive
and so permeating
that like my breathing
it is ongoing
oft unconscious

a function of my being
an atmosphere into which I am placed
something I watch for
and yield to

as a Son
and with that Spirit within

a position where I now awaken
ship without oars
immersed in a mighty river
that quietly and imperceptibly
except to quickened eye
flows clear as crystal

Instead of an inner and continual sucking need
a fullness overflows
with thankfulness and praise
even adoration
to Him who sits on the Throne

not of heaven’s distance
but nearness to my very heart

The sacrificial fires ever burning
desolation no more

See how they parade
all that passes for entertainment
across the brightly lit and colorful screen

Trousered apes
they are
reveling in beastly mirth
encouraging the ungodly appetites of the unstable
and undiscerning

all for mammon, earthly pleasure and gain.

Has an idol ever both lived and spoken
in the sight of men before this?

Shall we drink the wine of venom of asps?

Will we grasp vanity and the wind

and not reap

that which whirls

with violence

How hath the beast so surreptitiously worked his wiles?

What! is there no watchman?

How is it that ye do not understand…? Matthew 16.11

You’ve heard that story haven’t you. Where the guy sees a picture in the sky of scenes in his life and these relate to sets of footsteps seen in the sand.

Often there are two pairs representing Christ walking with this one on the pathway of his life.

And then he sees spots corresponding to difficult times in his journey where there is only one pair of prints.

He asks the question, “ What does this mean. I see only one set of prints?” and Christ answers,

“That is where I carried you.”

A precious picture of mercy, to be sure of our Lord carrying us at times when we feel to weak to go on.

Well, the picture of my life is a little different.Yes, it is one of footprints in the sand- sometimes one pair, sometimes two.

But there are also two furrows that look like lines in the sand. “What’s that Lord?”

”That’s where you were dragging you’re feet and I had to drag you forward to get you where you needed to go.”

O yea, I was so stuck on looking to outward things in even in the name of God: like ministry, helping others, counseling, visitation…I was so often reluctant to take those needed inward steps.

Or just not diligent at it!

That’s where the truth would be like when Paul said:

While we look not at the things which are seen , but at the things which are not seen : for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4.18
And there was probably a place in the sand where it looked like it was all messed up, like a severe struggle had taken place.

That was where I was pichin’ a fit, throwin’ myself down, kickin’and screamin’ and carryin’ on like a little child.

I really just didn’t understand what was going on…

why it seemed so hard and so long a process at times.

I guess I am a little more patient now.

In your patience possess ye your souls. Luke 21.19